Synopsis:

The movie opens right after Mikey Walsh (Sean Astin) and his ragtag crew of Goonies unraveled the mystery behind the treasure of the infamous pirate One Eyed Willy. As one can imagine, all of their lives were changed as a result of their amazing discovery.

For starters, the five precious jewels that Mikey was able to salvage from the pirate ship before it took to the seas did carry enough monetary value to buy the Goonies' neighborhood out from under greedy, rich Mr. Perkins who was looking to develop the land into commercial property. Overjoyed, the group gathers to watch the mighty ship sail off into the sunset. Unfortunately for them, Mr. Perkins possesses the cunning and financial resources to act quickly, bribing a local fishing boat to go and catch up to the ship, board it, and seize all of the rest of the gold and gems that none of the other kids had the foresight to put in their pockets. Now richer than Midas, Mr. Perkins buys not only the Goonies' neighborhood but the rest of downtown Astoria, including the museum. He then fires Mikey and Brandon's (Josh Brolin) curator father and turns the historical building into a shopping mall with a Claire's Accessories and Orange Julius. Despondent, penniless, and just really pissed off, Mr. Walsh starts to drink heavily and beat the boys' mother. Rosalita, the family's sassy Hispanic cleaning woman, quits in disgust.

Guilt-ridden, Mikey begins to act out; he fills his asthma inhaler with model airplane glue and chronically ditches school until his mother kicks him out. Mikey moves into the 1-bedroom apartment Brand shares with his girlfriend Andy (Kerri Greene). Brand had accidentally gotten her pregnant when they had a quickie after the wild ride down the underground water slide during their wild adventure. Now both high school dropouts are saddled with a baby, and their once-sweet, adolescent infatuation has degenerated. Brand, having had to sell his exercise equipment to pay for the baby, gains 50 pounds and loses his hunky good looks, causing Andy to turn to Mikey for sexual satisfaction. Their relationships comes to a head when Mikey, desperate for drug money, convinces Andy to prostitute herself to ex-boyfriend Troy, who now likes it rough. Brand finds out and leaves town with their baby, Willy, with the final exit line "You two really deserve each other...my brother and the whore I married. You both need a treasure map alright--to find your souls."

Data (Ke Huy Quan), having by now realized that the Goonies only kept him around so they could make fun of his funny way of pronouncing words with "l" sounds, grows apart from his old friends, spending more and more time working at his father's camera shop. He is working late one night when a masked thief holds him up at the register. The criminal is about to make a quick getaway with his parents' hard earned cash when Data presses a button on his watch and mace is dispensed from his name tag, temporarily blinding the perp. In the struggle, Data removes the thief's mask to reveal his identity—only to find that it's Mikey! In a panic, Mikey shoots Data repeatedly in the chest. Overcome with grief and abject horror over what he's done, he cradles his old, dying friend in his arms. As the light dims in his eyes, Data says, weakly, "Who would've thought, Mikey? You were the deadliest boo-ey twap of all." "Booby trap?" asked a puzzled Mikey. "That's what I said," replies Data, "Boo-eys twap." He dies. Mikey, grief-stricken turns the gun on himself. When the police arrive, they find two bodies on the floor of Wang's Camera Shoppe.

The gang reunites at the funeral. Sloth (John Matuszak) and Chunk (Jeff Cohen) make the trip up from San Francisco where they have been living since Chunk's parents kicked them out after finding him fellating Sloth in the family room during a party celebrating his graduation from high school and Weight Watchers. Though still horribly disfigured and suffering from halitosis, Sloth has been able to make a name for himself as a leading assistant District Attorney in Frisco. Everyone marvels at how much weight Chunk has lost. At the funeral service, eulogist Mouth (Corey Feldman) asks Chunk to do the "Truffle Shuffle," one last time, for their dead friends. Upon lifting up his shirt and beginning to dance wildly, the assemblage gasps to see his prominent rib cage. Horrified, Andy confronts Chunk over his anorexia and he breaks down, confessing that Sloth has been sleeping with anything with a pulse and that he is tired of "trying to please everyone." Accepting that he has a problem, Chunk leaves Sloth to seek treatment for his disease.

Mouth's life also spirals out of control. Though once brash and, well, mouthy, he is now a shell of his former self, driving around town in his father's plumbing company van and dressed in the same Member's Only jacket he's had since he was thirteen. His boasting about his sexual prowess and overall coolness ends when he tried to deflower girlfriend Stef (Martha Plimpton) and she throws up upon seeing his erect penis. Later she confesses to him that her disgust can be attributed to the fact that she is the most obviously gay teenage girl of all time, but the incident stunts his sexual growth. Shortly after Mikey's funeral, he is arrested for propositioning Rosalita's 12-year-old son with the line (roughly translated from Spanish): "Do you want to see the real One-Eyed Willy?" He is sent to prison where the Fratelli brothers obtain their revenge upon their hated Goonie nemesis. Guards find him in his cell, dead, with his trusty comb lodged down his throat.

The movie fades to black, with a voice over of One-Eyed Willy's ghostly laughter. "Arr-harr-dee-harr-arrrr!"