My Leader
After Allen Ginsberg
by Chad Parenteau
also in this issue:

Nudité avec Prada et Chanel
 What if Matisse were a little more fashion conscious?
by Nayiri Krikorian

The Goonies II: Tarnished Gold
 The sequel they didn't WANT you to see
by Brian Geer

Monopoly 2005
 Really, who did you expect?
by Wade Preston

T-shirt Club
 Greek life can be fun
by Darlington Howland

Once Upon a Post-Grad, Dreary
 Maybe Poe would have liked it
by Ben Gould
illustrated by Danielle Van Vooren

My Leader
 Allen Ginsburg probably would have written this if he were still around
by Chad Parenteau

The Fundamentals of Good Drinking
 Learn how to act like a lady already
by Marcella Hammer illustrated by Karin Goodfellow

Harlem Number Two
 Be sure to avoid late fees
by Jack Dalpayne
illustrated by David Murray

Complaints Deemed Not Objectionable Enough to be Included in the Sexual Harassment Case Against Bill O'Reilly
 Man, Bill O'Reilly did a lot of weird stuff
by Joe Kowalski
illustrated by Joshua Keay

An Overview of the Gene Wilder/Richard Pryor Filmography (or how they made the same movie four times)
 And you thought Hollywood just RECENTLY ran out of ideas
by Georg Pedersen

Ricky and Lucy
 Oh, what hath pop culture wrought?
by Jordan Eagles

My Leader, why do you grow with rage amidst throes of victory?

My Leader, how can we win the human war if we're on both sides of it?


My Leader, is "hubris" another word for "resolve,"

only with more negative connotations?


My Leader, those other voices are tempting me again.

But what does it mean that they speak in tones,

less assuring and comforting than yours?


My Leader, do you really have proof of a patriotic rapture?

Will the Throne of God look like yours?

I wonder how I'll ever see him,

or how all of the chosen will fit on one side.


My Leader, this is quite bothering to me:

I am unable to ask questions quickly and give us both

too much to think about.


My Leader, I will not continue this poem if my mind doesn't feel right going on

with questions we can't fill in like voting ovals.


My Leader, have you fallen down from your seat again?


My Leader, by praying I am putting my knotted back

to the sole of your descending foot as you start your climb.